5 Reasons Why I Started Dating My Sleep Paralysis Demon

For starters, he never interrupts me while I'm talking and always listens. In fact, he doesn't say much at all.

He doesn't like other girl's instagram posts!! Ladies, we love a man with no social media (or name, or birth certificate, or any record of him actually being a real person)

He's consistent. I mean, I see him every single day (well, night technically).

I always know where to find him. He haunts me in my sleep all night, so I know he doesn't have the time to see other girls

I'm tired of the dating apps, so he'll have to do. And honestly, he's way better than any of my exes.